Welcome back to the Plywood Report, your regular, all-encompassing chronicle of the next generation of restaurants and bars to grace our fair city. Spot something new on your block? The tip line awaits. Bonus points if you include photos.

Click the image above to view the full photogallery.

1) The Richmond: Let's examine the multiple instances of brilliance at work in the above shot of 1115 Clement St, shall we? Yes, let's: a) despite the "Bussines Closed" sign on the door, the Grand Opening sign somehow, amazingly made it through the entire restaurant's lifetime; b) not only did the Grand Opening banner survive, but so did the simultaneous signage for both previous incarnations (Bubble Zone and V Sizzling Plate); and finally, c) as seen by the liquor license activity, the shuttered Bubble Zone is ditching the boba angle (that's so 2005) and going alcoholic to morph into Sake Zone. We can only hope a third business name is added to the facade. But will they reuse the opening banner? [PLYWOOD]

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Today, Mr. Bauer gets a little grumpy at the original Chez Papa Bistrot in Potrero Hill, where the star slide continues from its original three stars. Not only does Bauer demote it to a palty 1.5 stars—including a rarely-seen food rating of one star—but the review contains some of the most unappetizing descriptions you'll encounter in a review:

But at the Bistrot this time around, the meat was barely seared, with chunks of uneven chopped garlic on top and an uneven sprinkling of lavender salt; the ratatouille had the texture of mush and skins, overseasoned with garlic...

The roast chicken ($17) had the texture of a long-cooked coq au vin with flabby skin. It arrived less than 20 minutes after it was ordered, which also indicated it had to have been about ready to serve. Not only was the skin soggy but the meat had a slightly leftover taste and mushy texture. I ordered the same dish ($16) at lunch a few days later, and it was only marginally better. Both times the sauce underneath was so viscous it formed ribbons when I picked up my fork, and the grilled vegetables were as wilted as the ratatouille.

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Join us for another edition of Adventures in Shilling, wherein we celebrate the grossest shills from around the world wide web. As always, you too can help fight shills.

Let's dive into the shameless self- aggrandizing right away. Up first, we have the week-old Halu, which proves that not even endearing, eclectic neighborhood restaurants with Beatles posters are immune to the temptation of shilling on the interwebs, not mention horrible grammar:

This is the new rockers haven in the Richmond.!! Rock posters adorn the walls,rock music is played...and a rock and roll drummer ,Shig ,cooks the amazing food.Mimi,his delightful wife is also behind the counter. Halu is billed as a "Different Japanese Restaurant"..meaning for me,no sushi. instead,great yakorti,deep fried or not....ramen bowls...yummy stuff. Lots of veggie options! It's a small place,between Geary and Clement on 8th avenue and there is a nearby public parking lot. Refreshing spin on the usual Japanese cuisine offered around the city. Casual atmosphere....fresh and innovative!!! Get hip to Halu!
Shill Probability: 49%

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Boccalone isn't the day's only newcomer with an exotic one-word name. Here then, another edition of The Dish, your source for all the latest and greatest openings around town. Spot something new in your neighborhood? Let us know.

1) The Castro: It's finally debut day for Kasa Indian Eatery, the family-owned "Indian taqueria" on the corner of Noe and 18th. We've already chronicled the rise of Kasa so we'll refer you to the Archives for the background reading on the place, but the short story is that Kasa is hoping to do simple street food—kati rolls—very well. The menu resembles a taqueria in the sense that you pick your meat (or veggie option) for your freshly-made roti/"tortilla." It's open daily for lunch and dinner. 4001 18th Street, at Noe; 415-621-6940; website [EaterWire]

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Photo courtesy: Shawn E. Hall Designs

It's a very wine bar week for the Chron reviews, and first up we have Los Bauer handing out an enthusiastic—if a bit surprising, though not undeserved—three stars to Willi's Wine Bar in Santa Rosa:

The eclectic menu at Willi's isn't for a reluctant palate. The small-plates menu is far from exotic, but the flavors are bold and wide ranging, divided into four categories: Asian, Locally Grown, Mediterranean and French.

... Every dish, while somewhat familiar, has an ingredient or technique that elevated it from the ordinary and made me want to order it ... Just about every dish at Willi's can become a conversation piece, and the staff knows how to sell it. They like to recommend dishes, and they've learned the art of pacing the arrivals; on my Update visit I never had more than two items on the table at the same time.

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After a decade of soul food success in the Dogpatch, the Hua Family opened a second location of Hard Knox Cafe last month. Though the Clement Street branch bears the same vintage-industrial, kitschy design (right down to the mounted swordfish), the new location is almost twice the size of the original, with about 80 seats and two levels of seating, making it easier to get a table (well, slightly). There's no bar area at HKC#2, but the pitchers are flowing and flat-screen televisions are scattered about as well. Hard Knox is, for the most part, an established local favorite in a city already lacking in the southern/soul food category, so early reports have been largely positive. Further reading on Hard Knox can be enjoyed in the Eater Archives and at AsianWeek.

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Welcome back to the Plywood Report, your regular, all-encompassing chronicle of the next generation of restaurants and bars to grace our fair city. Spot something new on your block? The tip line awaits. Locally-sourced bonus points if you include photos.

Click the image above to view the full photogallery.

1) Inner Richmond: The signage has been up for a few months now, but now we have an early ETA for Happy Belly, the gourmet deli going in on the corner on Balboa and 3rd. It's from the team behind the uber popular Namu just a few blocks down, will also have take-home meals, and the preliminary opening date is September. [PLYWOOD]

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Dearest Park Chalet,

We like you. Always have. It's a nostalgic soft spot perhaps, but on nice days, it doesn't get much better than afternoon drinks outdoors in a wholesome environment right on the ocean: jazz band in full swing, decent BBQ and plenty of dogs/children/families enjoying the sunshine. Lately, we've worried that perhaps things—like service—have been slipping, but for some reason, other cheeks have been turned. Hell, even when you somehow quoted suspicious, nonsensical three hour waits during that heat wave a few weeks back, we just exited stage right with a perplexed look. But this ... this is just unacceptable:

FIRST-EVER SINGLE COUGARS PARTY
Thursday, June 12, 7-9pm -- all ages

As seen on KRON4 TV News.
We're excited about the Bay Area's first-ever Single Cougars Party! Based on Cougar, by Valerie Gibson. Cougars are older women dating younger men. Guys, here's your chance to break the taboo of meeting and dating older women!

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Welcome back to the Plywood Report, your regular, all-encompassing chronicle of the next generation of restaurants and bars to grace our fair city. Spot something new on your block? The tip line awaits. Gold stars if you include photos.

Click the image above to view the full photogallery.

1) The Sunset: On the week that the zoo somehow gets honored as one of the nation's best, we kick off this edition of the Plywood Report right across the street from the old Sloat Boulevard entrance. In the shadow of the last doggy diner head, Java Beach at the Zoo will be opening, and is expected to be a kid-friendly coffeeshop/diner, with booze of course. Should John's down the street get demolished, it could fill a niche. [PLYWOOD]

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The Sentinel isn't the only new kid in town, which means it's time for The Dish, your source for all the latest and greatest openings around town. Spot something new in your neighborhood? Drop it in the tip jar, please.

1) North Beach: Just here to the right, you'll see the scene at Vicoletto on this Sunday night past, sent in by a tipster, meaning that the quick turnaround is complete. As we've noted before, most of the design elements are holdovers from the short-lived Nua era, and as with most newcomers, the southern Italian menu is probably a work in progress, but UrbanDaddy has rabbit ravioli as an early option alongside a "small but thoughtful" wine list. Current hours are 5:30 to 10pm daily, with weekend lunch en route. 550 Green Street, at Jasper; (415) 433-5800 [EaterWire]

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Simultaneously serving as evidence for the restaurant's unexplained deletion from the Top 100, the Farallon review you knew was coming finally drops. It's a tale of two visits: one where the critic goes unrecognized, the other where he gets ID'ed. Farallon predictably fires on all cylinders in the latter, but the former sees all types of carnage. Boom goes The Bauer:

I encountered lots of missteps in both food and service, which is unacceptable given the high prices - $34.50 to $42 for main courses. When a straightforward dish such as asparagus with a quail egg and a thin layer of Serrano ham and Meyer lemon vinaigrette is $15.50, the food needs to be perfect. If not, diners rightfully feel cheated; at least, that's how we felt.

Since Farallon had the audacity to charge $18 for shrimp and scallop siu mai I figured the dumplings would be stratospherically delicious; it's a challenge to best some of the dim sum we have here, often at a quarter of the price. However, the siu mai were more like the ones at Panda Express. The mousse inside the chewy dumplings was rubbery, the hoisin vinaigrette was singularly sweet, and the roasted cauliflower florets, designed to set the appetizer apart, were smaller than a pine nut and had no effect on the overall flavor.

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