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Deathwatch: Avenue G

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After an intense examination of quickly-fading restaurants around town, the closed-door proceedings of the Eater Deathwatch Committee have finally come to a halt. Ladies and gents, please welcome Eater Deathwatch to the table.

Here we have the unfortunate tale of Avenue G, a textbook example of that which warrants the wrathful stamp of the (otherwise amiable) Deathwatch Committee. Already, Avenue G's move from the Richmond to the high-rent, high-profile location of the corner of Union and Stockton seems to have backfired. The menu confuses "eclectic" with "absolute shitshow," offering Filipino profiterolles [sic], right next to antipasto misto, right next to tandoori chicken curry. As for the prices, well, instead of getting Avenue G's $95 "omakase" tasting menu with a wine pairing, you could instead opt for the $96 five-course tasting menu at ... Gary Danko. Toss in a hard-to-search name that is anything but internet-friendly, and a nice little case study is born.

Since reopening in September, Avenue G has manifested myriad Deathwatch symptoms: 1) In the "duh" category, empty seats rule the dining room every single night. 2) The aforementioned empty seat quandary is exacerbated by floor-to-ceiling dining room windows bordering a pedestrian-heavy neighborhood called North Beach. 3) Happy. Hour. Promotions. 4) Blatant curbside chalk signs saying yes, we are indeed open! 5) Finally, the nail in the coffin literally came just last Friday: Avenue G took the plunge and purchased a Yelp sponsorship. Over/under on the end to this sordid story: Christmas 2007.

Know a restaurant that warrants a Deathwatch stamp? Your nominations here.

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