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Meanwhile in Fresno

Sometimes, there are no words, nor are any needed: "A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed spices over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man in the face and head before he ran out ... the money was recovered, but the piece of sausage used in the attack was discarded by the suspect and eaten by a dog." [PD]