Discover the Passive-Aggressive Magnificence of Ferry Plaza Seafood's Website

Ferry Building: It's recently come to our attention that Ferry Plaza Seafood has a website with editorial copy that is nothing short of amazing. The best parts, by far, are the blog and FAQ sections, both rife with passive-aggressive lines. In some ways, it's a refreshing—if unprofessional and entertaining—take on the more difficult, whiny and clueless customers that filter into dining rooms. In fact, the blog is used entirely to complain about customers (the next installment can't come soon enough):

1) About a Yelper who complains about the prices: "Are we really talking about the 50 cent bread charge again? Seriously?" and "Have you been to a movie lately sir, you can barely get a soda for $5.00 which comes out of soda machine, no one made it!"

2) 15 year-old girls: "I will tell you how I got 'dissed' by 2 teenage girls ... I typically keep all of these thoughts to myself, because of course, I am a professional, but also because, I try to be pleasant."

3) A dissatisfied customer: "Can you believe that! She ordered the Crab melt and then complained she didn’t like it. Some people!"

4) About more Yelpers: "I am not saying that it's ok to have plastic in the soup, but things occasionally happen."

And just for the hell of it, here are some of the more notable bits from the FAQ section, also a rather awesome passive-aggressive exhibition:

On the no-beer-outside policy: "I know it's hard to believe, but we aren't in New Orleans."

On crackers: "No we don't serve a single cracker in the whole restaurant. We serve all the bread you can eat."

On ranch: "No we don't have ranch dressing, we have Louie dressing and Vinaigrette, but that's it."

On tartar sauce: "Unless you are eating fried food, you don't need tartar sauce. So, we don't have tartar sauce."

On neighbors: "No, we aren't Hog Island Oyster Company. We have a similar blue logo, we are opposite each other in the corridor and we do serve oysters, but oysters are not our primary focus. We specialize in all types of seafood and oysters happen to be on our list. "

On neighbors, cont.: "No, but Hog Island Oyster Company has Hog Island Oysters. "

On rules: "Please don't get upset with us, we didn't make the rules."

On trickery: "...please don't lie and say you are going to stay and then we find you wondering about. It's illegal first of all and second of all you will be embarassed [sic] and so will we, to go get you and bring you back to the restaurant."
· Ferry Plaza Seafood [Official Site]
[Photo: Flickr/imelda]