A Primer to Kozy Kar, the City's Newest Shitshow Candidate

Polk Gulch: Over the weekend, Kozy Kar Bar formally opened in the old In Touch space. And folks, there's an awful lot going on within the confines of 1548 Polk Street. First of all, the bar's website is NSFW on account of boobies. Secondly, just some of the "amenities" include CB radios, boxed wine, shag carpeting, a rapist-y van from the '70s, scantily-clad servers on rollerskates, and the thing everyone looks for in a neighborhood bar, waterbeds. Naturally, the place currently boasts five stars on Yelp. Is it a shitshow per se? Probably not yet, but that doesn't mean it can't be delightfully trashy and tacky in an amazing kind of way, though it's anyone's guess as to how long before that "delightfully" tag gets replaced by someone less ... rosy. Either way, let's take a look at the first weekend's internet buzz from the year's most important bar opening. Hold on:

Ladies and gents, start your hyperbole engines:

One of the many times the letter "k" finds its way into new words:

Just in case it didn't register the first time around:

Someone had to say it:

Drunk people rapping over CB radios atop waterbeds; what could possibly go wrong?