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Hangover Observations: Last Night at Kozy Kar

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Polk Gulch: So. Kozy Kar. First off, it's not a shitshow by any means. At least in its current incarnation ... on a Tuesday night ... at half-capacity ... for those who don't mind nudity literally everywhere you walk. In fact, you've got to give them props for going all out and actually bringing to fruition a stoner's fantasy bar (and in a fun, light-hearted way at that). On the other hand, odds are it might very well be a whole new ballgame on a crowded, messy night. For now though, here are some observations from last night, the night that was:

1) Seriously though, what's the over/under on the two waterbeds' lifetimes? Two weeks? A month? Someone needs to start a pool.

2) Number of rollerskates last night: zero (disappointing!). Number of bongs on the wall: one. Number of trucker hats spotted in the crowd: at least six. Number of confused old men wearing leather jackets: two.

3) Regarding the aforementioned nudity-laden floor (which may or may not have been glued on with Elmer's glue), it's already falling apart. Toss in the fact that it's going to get extremely slippery if when drinks inevitably get spilled on the crowded dance floor and things could get dicey over yonder.

4) Predictably, Boogie Nights was on loop. Too predictable?

5) In the end, Kozy Kar is just a theme bar. Nothing more, nothing less. It's definitely a sight to behold. It's kitschy, it's boob-laden, and it'll get crowded (hey, good for them), but waterbeds aside, odds are it won't be too different from, say, Bigfoot up the block. Both have over-the-top themes, lots to look at, long narrow walkways, and might have a propensity to attract a "special" audience. Now if you'll excuse us, we have to remove this floor-glue from our shoe.
· A Primer to Kozy Kar, the City's Newest Shitshow Candidate [~ESF~]

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