Have you ever ogled a china Buddha at Benihana with grabby desire? Or perhaps the Laguiole knifes laying out at some trendy Noodle Bars are just too nice not to sweep up? Welcome to Shit People Steal, Eater's latest column, currently looking for submissions. Every restaurant suffers from petty theft at some point or another. This is where we immortalize these unsavory deeds in blog print, forever. Want to submit your theft stories? Or theft stories about someone else (because you would never do that)? Drop us a line.