Innocent Man Killed By Torturous Lines at Bi-Rite, Tartine

Killing My Lobster just released a creepy video about a "mild-mannered middle manager" who tries to play hooky from work in San Francisco. Instead of a blissful day free of lines at all his favorite cafes and brunch spots, the poor corporate guy discovers the bone-chilling truths of our city: lunch spots overrun with mothers, a Union Square seething with tourists, and he can't even find a simple spot in a cafe because it's full to the brim with Mac-wielding waitresses, yoga teachers and bartenders. Things get even worse outside Tartine Bakery and Bi-Rite Creamery.