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Helloooo. I'm your caaar.

And also... your Eater SF guest editor for this lovely Friday afternoon! Normally I'm your favorite West Coast Senior Editor over at who writes about adorable 4-year-olds who invent the world's greatest bowl of cereal, or the best college bars in the country, but today I'm taking a break from all of that horribly taxing work to fill in for the prodigious Allie Pape, who is off fighting an intergalactic war against the Dark Side. Probably.