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Michael Mina's Lambpigcow Is Basically an Edible Noah's Ark

He sees your turducken and raises you lambpigcowquailduckchickenturkey.

Nader Khouri

When he opened his absurdly huge kitchen setup at Levi's Stadium back in August, Michael Mina touted that his giant rotisseries could hold an entire side of beef. Needless to say, it wasn't long before one of his chefs took him up on the challenge, and raised him the entire barnyard. For the Michael Mina's Tailgate party on Thanksgiving Day, David Varley (the chef of Mina's RN74 Seattle) oversaw the creation of what's alternately being called "Lambpigcow" or "Roast Beast," consisting of a side of Wagyu beef rolled over a deboned parade of meat: 24 quail, 12 chickens, eight ducks, six turkeys, two lambs, and a pig, all stuffed with chestnut-turkey sausage.

The massive meat roll, held together with a 20-foot roll of metal garden fencing, was secured in place on the rotisserie with eight giant stainless steel clamps. ("I'm taking a few years off from working on Thanksgiving after this," Varley joked on Instagram.) And as if all that meat wasn't enough, it was served alongside a dozen turkeys and a free-flowing gravy fountain. (Considering that admission to Michael Mina's Tailgate runs a whopping $5K per season, such indulgences are well-financed.) Unfortunately, the animal sacrifice was no aid to the home team, which lost to the Seattle Seahawks, 19-3. Not that anyone who ate this thing was able to awaken from their massive food comas to see it for themselves.

Two stuffed quail sit atop a chicken, a duck, and a turkey with layers of sausage between.

A photo posted by David Varley (@dwvarley) on

Today's quote from from @rushlowj "that is the definition of not fucking around"

A photo posted by David Varley (@dwvarley) on

The roast beast is on. Now we pray.

A photo posted by David Varley (@dwvarley) on

Time to unleash the beast!

A photo posted by David Varley (@dwvarley) on

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