Dining in San Francisco is an etiquette challenge for some even in the best of times — every food worker has horror stories of demanding diners unaware of how to behave in public. Eater readers are most certainly not like those problematic folks, but now, as restaurants are figuring out new, pandemic-era service styles, a whole new set of rules seems to apply.
It’s important to remember that while restaurants have stayed open as essential businesses, many chefs and owners never planned for a menu that would be served from a box, or imagined a dining room filled with masked patrons. Just like everyone else, they’re working hard to comply with constantly shifting guidelines, and they’re still showing up to work and make you food.
With that in mind, Eater SF has asked a handful of experts — chefs, owners, writers, and critics — for their top tips on how to navigate, as a diner, this new normal. Whether you’re picking up takeout or sitting down at an outdoor table, here are the best ways to ensure you’re not unintentionally being a jerk while supporting the restaurants you love.
Do order online and pay in advance
Ordering online is a huge help. It’s very difficult to manage both in-house (okay, in-sidewalk) dining and a full shift of to-go orders. We can’t answer the phone all night. — Jennifer Bennett, co-owner of Zazie
Don’t use third-party delivery apps
I haven’t used a third party delivery app since the shutdown started in March. I’m instead calling restaurants directly to place orders for pickup, saving them the costly commission fees (and giving me an excuse to get out of the house). — Elena Kadvany, food reporter at Palo Alto Weekly
Do count how many people are inside
The majority of our clientele is like family. This is a community space. They feel at home, and miss seeing their friends and hanging out. The challenge has been only letting four people in at a time. But it’s the rules! I don’t want to have to shut down, because then what? You want no places open in the community? — April Spears, chef and owner of Auntie April’s and Cafe Envy
Don’t stand in a crowd outside
When people are waiting out front, it would be great if they could avoid hovering over the sidewalk tables. It makes people uncomfortable, and puts us in the awkward position of constantly telling them to back off. Just sign up on the list, then wander down the block and watch from your phone (we have Yelp Waitlist). Standing out front won’t speed things up. — Jennifer Bennett
Do get in line and space it out
As someone who’s worked in kitchens, and you know, did ballet in kindergarten, I’m kind of amazed when people have absolutely no spatial awareness. A lot of restaurants have stickers and tape down on the sidewalk as guides, but also, maybe just use your eyes? Step to one side of the sidewalk? Stand six feet apart? Don’t stand immediately in front of the entrance? — Becky Duffett, reporter for Eater SF
Do wear your mask. (All the way. The whole time.)
At Bernie’s coffee shop in Noe Valley, some customers come in, “wearing no mask at all. Wearing a mask below the nose. Placing the mask on as you walk into the business,” says owner Bernadette Melvin. It’s not fair that restaurants have to enforce mask policies, so please, help them out. Also, you might think it goes without saying, but there’s no need to “yell through the mask or pull down your mask down and speak slowly.” Has Bernie ever messed up your latte?! She’s got you. Promise.
Don’t ask stressful questions
We’re all worried about our favorite neighborhood spots these days, but resist the urge to pepper business owners with questions. Melvin says that Bernie’s is getting a lot of “‘Are you gonna make it? When will you reopen fully? When will you expand your hours?’” Business owners are already stressed, and they don’t know what’s going to happen, either. Maybe just tip big and say thanks for the coffee.
Don’t linger too long
“[Our takeout customers] order to go, but then they want to linger. They’re waiting for a drink, then they see a friend, and it’s like ‘Hey, how you doing?’ It turns into a meetup. I have to ask them to step outside to converse …. Thankfully, my mom is at the door on Friday and Saturday nights, when we get busier …. Mama runs the joint, she runs the ’hood, they don’t give her any trouble. — April Spears
I’m not sure when I’ll personally be eating out again, but when I do return, I’ll be aware of the amount of time I spend at a restaurant. Not only because health experts believe that prolonged exposure to individuals with COVID-19 puts people at greater risk, but because seating may be limited due to physical distancing guidelines. At some restaurants that have recently opened for outdoor dining, guests are waiting for over an hour to be seated. While you don’t have to hurry through your meal, try not to linger longer than necessary. — Sarah Han, senior food editor at Berkeleyside
Do be ready to pull your mask back up
I am very grateful when a guest puts their mask on as staff approaches their table. It seems like people think that the table is somehow a mask-free zone, but if we wear masks to protect people from exposure, then it’s only fair for guests to protect my staff. I always thank people for pulling their masks up to order, receive plates, or have tables cleared. — Jennifer Bennett
I can’t imagine sitting there and eating without keeping a mask around my neck (or close at hand) so I could quickly put it on if a server approaches the table — that just seems like basic courtesy? And if it’s too much of a mood-killer, maybe you’d be better off staying home and sticking to takeout. — Luke Tsai, food editor of Eater SF
Don’t ask your server to keep running
I’d ask people to be conscious about not “running” their server — ask for all the things you want in one go, not a new thing every time they come out. It’s very hot working in a mask for eight hours .... Patience and compassion go a long way. — Jennifer Bennett
Do bus your own table (if that’s the deal)
Please use the receptacles for trash. I can’t afford to have table service yet. [This business] is still new, revenue isn’t up yet, I’ve had to be frugal in hiring, so I can’t afford to have a couple of servers out there. — April Spears
Do bundle up for the fog
Our older customers say, “It’s cold outside!” They don’t want to sit outside, they really want to come inside. And all I can say is, “I’m sorry! You can take it home, or we have outside dining.” And I am sorry. I know they’re just missing their friends. — April Spears
Do keep the sidewalk clean and clear
For patrons, don’t block the sidewalk. For restaurant owners, don’t block the sidewalk. People who use wheelchairs or other modes of transportation shouldn’t yield to diners. And (this is applicable for pre- and post-coronavirus times) stop wearing tank tops to brunch. Unbridled armpit sweat is nasty while eating. — Brock Keeling, editor of Curbed SF
Do tip like a boss
Tip well, and in cash if you can. Yes, I know that in other countries restaurant workers are paid a living wage and don’t need tips to survive. Yes, we should have that here too! But punishing restaurant workers because the system is broken was bogus in the good times, and is borderline evil now. Handing over cash to a worker or delivery person ensures they’re getting all of that money (it’s not your job to subsidize payment processors, many of which take a cut even from tips). These people are literally risking their lives to provide you to-go cocktails or deliver your dinner. If you live in a place with kitchen facilities, and can’t afford to drop an additional 20 percent of what you’re spending on a meal to support the people who are making or bringing it, then spend your dining budget on groceries, and make your food at home. — Eve Batey, news editor
Do forgive mistakes
A lot of places are pivoting their business models or switching up menu items with limited staffing. This might mean mistakes, delays, or other ordering mishaps as they get their footing. For customers, it can be frustrating, especially when you’re hungry, but a botched order is not the end of the world. If a mistake happens, you can contact the business and let them know, but be polite and understanding. — Sarah Han
Do be extra kind
Be a human being. Imagine how worried you’ve been about risk of exposure, job insecurity, or your own wellbeing in the past three months. Your waiter has been there, too. Restaurants and their staff are under immense pressure right now, adapting to constantly changing public health guidelines while trying to keep their businesses alive. I think we all need to eat out with an extra dose of patience and kindness. — Elena Kadvany