This is a beautifully bedraggled, dive-y drag bar in the Tenderloin where experienced, mostly queer drinkers gather for the kind of shows that repel bachelorette parties. Aunt Charlies, established 1987, is a downright institution, and one of San Francisco’s few LGBT joints outside of the Castro. Celebrate it in all its gritty glory.

A hole-in-the-wall gem in the Inner Richmond, this bar serves up three things: booze, billiards, and darts. Despite only having one pool table, you’ll find locals vying for the “title” in weekly tournaments, taking breaks to belly up at the bar for shots and pitchers of beer. (And if you’re lucky, the owner may pull out the hot plate and whip up some frozen potstickers, too.) 

Sure, you can sit and order the Ethiopian dishes that are served at all hours of the day, but expect some sideways glances as the night wears on because, for decades, this has been known as the go-to spot on Divisadero for strong, yet cheap drinks, stellar wallpaper choices, shooting pool, and sitting in dimly lit corners to cackle — without having to muscle your way through a crowd of sweaty 20-somethings. Plus, recently dubbed a San Francisco historical landmark, this neighborhood dive in NOPA is (thankfully) here to stay. 

Come early to secure yourself one of the creepy-cozy nooks that make Noc Noc one of the best bars in the Bay Area to pass an hour or nine in. There’s no liquor here, but the excellent beer and sake selection, plus the otherworldly decor, are enough of a trip on their own. 

A martini is always a good idea. A martini at a dive bar? Maybe not so much. But Zam Zam, a Haight Street staple with one of the most distinctive bars around (both in the bars actual shape and it’s distincty Haight Street vibe), is an exception to that rule. Once deemed “the Holy Shrine of the Dry Martini,” it very much still lives up to that moniker today. Just make sure you’ve got cash on hand. 

If you were to look up a dive bar in the dictionary, Kilowatt might very well be pictured. Though it opened as a punk music venue, it’s since replaced its stage with darts and pool tables. However! Music’s been making its way back under new ownership. See? You can teach old bars new tricks (that they already knew once). 

The pool table, the jukebox, and the bar are all cash-only, so prepare for a trip to this local queer bar like you would a drag show — bring lots of ones and get ready to have one hell of a time. At nearly forty years old, Uptown is proof that really good things can last forever (we hope). 

What else can be said about 500 Club’s inclusion on this list other than: obviously. Not many dive bars are known for their freshly squeezed juice or bloody marys, but then again, not many dive bars are the 500 Club. 

People who say that dives have to be dirty, sticky, and covered in ironic stickers clearly have never been to Lone Palm. At this neighborhood favorite, small votive candles sit atop the white tablecloths in this 1970s-esque Miami-meets-art-deco space. Come for a beer, a martini or a Jello-O shot — they do it all.   

Not to be mistaken with Royal Cuckoo Market in the Mission, this is “church” for dive bar-heads in Bernal Heights. Find a spot one of the many church pews in this dimly lit (read: very, very dark) space. While your eyes adjust, sip on boozy drinks and mid-tier beers and listen to the vinyl that’s always spinning in the corner — or just admire the taxidermy-adorned walls.