First opened in 1948, Vesuvio Cafe boasted regulars like Beat legends/broken-hearted loons Neal Cassady, Allen Ginsberg, and Jack Kerouac, which means that its tolerance for mopeyness is abundantly well tested. It’s also a great spot for judging happy-seeming couples, with second-floor seating that looks out on North Beach’s busiest streets and a crowd that’s unlikely to notice if you weep a bit into your beer.

While other fortune cookie makers use mechanical means to create their confections, Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Factory insists on keeping things real by making every thing by hand. Take comfort in that fortitude as you seek some direction for your future. A pack of 50 cookies starts at only $17.50, which means each piece of advice you receive is only 35 cents — far cheaper than therapy.

Since 1969, the Pinecrest Diner has served patrons jerked from their slumber by the memory that all is lost, as the spot is and has always been a 24-hour, 7-day-a-week venue. Avoid the nachos, chilli, or salads unless you want to grow even unhappier, and focus on their breakfast offerings, which are also available around the clock.

Sure, your soul aches at what might have been, but the sweet sorrow of parting means that trying to find a table for two at San Francisco’s buzziest restaurants is no longer a problem. Most of the city’s hottest spots — like innovative Moroccan restaurant Aziza, for example — have walk-in bar seating at which the entire menu is served. Aziza also boasts one of the most personable and attentive bar staffs in the city, which means that as long as you’re there, you’ll never feel alone.

Put down your phone, you’re just going to go to his Instagram page and try to figure out where he might be right now. Instead, consider Powerhouse, a bar that since 1997 has catered to gentlemen who seek stiff drinks and fellow gentlemen. Its calendar is dotted with event nights with names like “Junk” and “Stank,” many of which offer drink specials, DJs, and free lube, the latter of which is handy since you tossed the bottle you last used with what’s-his-name.

Few places in San Francisco are better for staring off into the night, sobbing, as you drink a beer than the Lookout, a Castro District gay bar with a mixed gender/orientation crowd. Its wraparound outdoor seating is a perfect place to retreat when the truth of your solitude becomes too much to bear, and Market Street’s whipping winds make a perfect cover for your tears. Plus, they have a perfectly acceptable menu of bar snacks, and you need to get something into your stomach.

The Riptide, a dive bar at the westernmost edge of the city, is one of San Francisco’s best places to find a single-serving friend. Newcomers to the bar are welcomed by the longstanding spot’s regulars, and by the end of the night, you’ll be pouring your heart out to all your new pals. The next day, you might have a hangover from the bar’s unfussy drink menu, but you’ll feel a bit lighter after unburdening yourself to a bar patron who probably has no memory of what you said the night before.

The owners of West Portal dive bar Philosopher’s Club enforce a strict no-laptop use policy, saying that an adherence to screens “defeats the purpose of being in a bar.” Similarly, they’ll cock a brow at you if you spend too much time messing with a tablet or phone. Look, no one said you had to talk to anyone, but wouldn’t you feel better if you made just a little bit of IRL human contact?